Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I don't have a boyfriend, but my toothbrush does. 

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Friday, June 15, 2012

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I dress like a witch that has just been widowed

and eddie calls them 'poutfits'

Monday, June 11, 2012

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Don't tell my mom, but I got my ears double pierced at the mall tonight

I got to hold a teddy bear and two of my friends' hands while they held onto my purse. I was informed that I am not allowed to replace the earrings for 2 months so I bought the cheapest studs they had to offer and then  I ripped them out and replaced them with fake diamonds at home.
I look super rich.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Monday, June 4, 2012

I had this really dumb revelation that single people are a lot like widows.

really really dumb.
I bought one of those infomercial products that you can steam things in the microwave with.
It's beige and makes me feel like a senior citizen whose spouse has died leaving them plugging away each day waiting to die too.
and while I was sitting alone in complete silence at my table with all the lights off except one bulb in the kitchen shinning down on my pathetic scene and casting a shadow on everything else, I realized I am acting nothing like a widow.
I'm way more like a widower.
Only an old man would eat tuna fish straight out of the microwavable container and pair that with a beer straight out of the bottle
and be perfectly content
every single night. 
until they die.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Saturday, June 2, 2012