Friday, September 30, 2011

spent a little too much time leaning over the viaduct at damen yesterday.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The great part about living in a garden apartment is that my rent is really cheap. The reason the rent is really cheap is because the bugs in the apartment are prehistoric. In the last 24 hours I have smashed 3 spiders in my bathroom and another that crawled over the couch cushion while I was trying to watch Americas Next Top Model. There was no difference between its stomach and a yellow super ball.

I immediately emailed my parents asking them to buy me 'spider killer' which I know does not exist. Why on earth is this not a thing? I'm serious. If you can kill ants and cockroaches, there is no reason you can't target spiders. I really don't understand people. Like all that bullshit when they say that you don't want to kill the spiders because they actually eat the other bugs and are therefore great to have around. False. That is just about as logical as encouraging cannibalistic rats to live in your apartment in order to control a mouse population.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I wish it was always this dark outside

A month ago I told my psychiatrist that as strange as it sounds, I really don't feel angry about what happened and never have. She said that it will come. She said that there is so much anger inside of me that I am afraid to let it out for fear of how unacceptably violent and extreme it would be.
Yesterday my 20 minute train ride was spent wondering if homicide could pass as sculpture. I think it's here.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I say such vulgar things as Cutler hesitates to throw the football.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Friday, September 23, 2011

Surprise! The roll of photos in my digital camera dates back to June

This photo of my own fingernail impressions in my palm -taken after crossing the street in front of my apartment down which two cars go a day- was going to be used for a blog post kidding about how I needed to get my anxiety checked out. lol, joke is on me. Now I take two pills a day to tame my MALADAPTIVE anxiety.

Most importantly, my camera revealed that no matter how unstable things get, you can look around yourself a year from today and find the most important things to be exactly the same


Thursday, September 22, 2011

my yoga instructor is long and lean like a cat and im more like a potato trying to do tricks. I was able to do a tripod yesterday, though, and two back bends. for the second one, I had to come down off the wall like a fucking spider.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Monday, September 19, 2011


Sunday, September 18, 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011

theres an app for that

so far I have an entire home page on my phone that houses a mood ring, a magic eight ball, everyone's daily horoscope, a palm reader (I think this ones bogus), a tarot card reader, and a lunar calendar to track my period. I'm extremely fertile right now, not that it matters to anyone one way or the other.
another page has left-brained boring things like a ruler, a calculator, a stop watch and a level. the main home page has my twitter updates which always just announce to my two followers that I am drunk.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

life story

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Monday, September 12, 2011

I started my gym membership at DePaul today. I plan on making it a point to wear an Illinois shirt every single time I visit. The last time I was at the gym was in 2008 and I'm going to attribute that to why I repeatedly caught myself humming T-Pain's "Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin')" while I was there.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

You don't get to make wishes on eyelashes you pull out yourself, just like you don't get to go to heaven if you commit suicide.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

rubbed elbows and knees and free drinks with 'the picasso of our time'


Friday, September 9, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

It's so hard to breathe when I wake up.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

You know what is the scariest thing ever? Singing songs to a baby until it's limp in your arms and then with all the lights off, managing to place him in his crib. When he asks for his panda bear, realizing it's pitch black in the room so not only can you barely find it in the darkness but that when he's in here alone, he probably can't find it at all and that must be really scary for him. Then he says, 'What's behind you?'


Monday, September 5, 2011

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Friday, September 2, 2011

Thursday, September 1, 2011