Thursday, December 31, 2009

I got a job. For real this time.

a really cute one

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

this happened.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Monday, December 28, 2009

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Friday, December 25, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

'it's weird how you can be so excited for something and also hate it so much'

2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
even though this is our 7th year, we still spent the first 20 minutes holding up two signs that read "Holidays Happy" We got a stronger reaction from the cars once we switched the signs.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Can I obtain a masters degree without talking to anyone?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

I'm in love with an actor that plays a high school student.

call me with your razor. I have one too and it's pink but I painted it with red glitter nail polish.
or text.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Misconceptions About My Own Body

1. my uterus is the size of a basketball at all times

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Sunday, December 6, 2009

so pitted

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Friday, December 4, 2009

the only thing I can think of writing is LAURA!!!!!!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Luckily, if any predators are watching me through the windows they will see me talking and falsely conclude I'm not home alone.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Professional Creeping

wore broken sunglasses anyway
checked off seven boxes
ate a mint and slapped on some lipgloss stolen from Kierstn's 11 year old sister
took a picture of mostly teeth
smashed my face on things

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

like if he stood there long enough, that dog get up and run

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I just over-filled my coke because I have the foresight of a 3 year old. In my defense, I've never poured a can of coke into a glass before and had no idea it would fizz up like that.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Double Ds

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Bad News Bears

The Chicago Bears have been beyond disappointing this year and I've heard a lot of speculation as to why. The real reason can be found not on the field, but on the sidelines pacing back and forth .
No, it's not Brian Urlacher.

It's this guy : I get upset when I see our over-hyped, portly quarterback getting sacked, but I have to keep my rage in check when I spot this loser standing aimlessly in the corner of the screen. Since when do we have a mascot? And quite frankly, if this is what it looks like, why do we need one? A mascot serves two purposes:
1. To intimidate the other team.
2. To rile up your own team.

Our mascot is incapable of either and I feel like this is why the Chicago Bears suck this year. Check out the bear mascot for the Utah Jazz.
They're ranked 10th. Although being number ten isn't the best, the Memphis Grizzlies are ranked 28. gross.

Here's why:
Moral of the story - it's time for a trade.
Old Mascot + Jay Cutler for this new mascot.DISCLAIMER: Don't get me wrong, I don't care about football or basketball. I just care about animals and costumes. ps. devin hester, you looked great out there tonight.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

what's my age again

what's my age again

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Agenda

professional creeping on the 10th
(warm up on the 28th)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

My dad sent my mom a text message while he was hunting this weekend.
This was her response:

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Saturday, November 14, 2009

'Thanks for the pretzel rods, Mrs. Brooks.'

Friday, November 13, 2009

What Eddie and I should have been for Halloween.

I would be the ultra crabby old man, of course.