Today, in my art history class, we watched a clip from the disney animation 'Bambi.' I thought that it was pretty cute, and I have to say, it made me want to watch the whole thing. When it was done a bunch of hands shot up. All anyone could talk about was how that was the most traumatizing film they had ever seen, and that it was the scariest kids movie ever, and that the storm scene 'really freaked them out.' Now I know that bambi's mother dies, and yes, that's depressing at any age, but come on. grow up.
I take the cake for watching the creepiest, scariest, and most disturbing children's films on the market. I'm not going to pretend that I don't know every word to the opening of Strawberry Shortcake, but allow me to compensate.
Let's begin where we last left off - 'Return to Oz'
This movie gets two clips. Trust me, it deserves it.
What kid doesnt love something that has wheels for feet - and hands. Did I say 'something' - I meant 10 things.
If the wheelers were not bad enough, don't worry there is also a witch.
oh, and she doesnt have a head. No wait, she has hundreds of them actually.
This next clip is the trailer for the movie The Dark Crystal.
I made eddie watch this with me when I had my wisdom teeth taken out.
I wanted him to feel what pain was.
I don't think I need to re-post the clip of the child catcher in chitty chitty bang bang.....once is enough.
Now, many of you may have seen this wonder around campus. Probably throwing down some sick dance moves. This scene haunted my dreams for my entire childhood.
The dragon was terrifying, but that part with the parents in the mirror was worse.
Did you watch the normal Disney version of Sleeping Beauty?
Not me. I watched the creepy one.
My dresses get ripped to shreds when I go out looking for princes too. They are just so darn evasive.
And BELIEVE me, this is not all of them. Some were so obscure and bazarre I could not track them down on youtube.
I'm not saying I hated these films. In fact I would guess that I have seen most of them over 50 times.
I'm just trying to explain why, at three years old, I talked out of the side of my mouth and acted like a cynical little old man.
Sorry, molly. No matter how much you'd like to think it, you are not weirder than I am. It took years of conditioning to get me to this point.
Also, here is an arrangement I made about flight. I showed it to eddie.
He smiled and said that he gets it.