Too bad my celebrity twin is Jena Malone.

I'd much rather it be Cindy Crawford.

I love the Ramones more than you love your mom.

When I woke up this morning I didn't know I was going to jam my finger into the elliptical and not be able to use my left hand for the rest of the day.

I noticed in the game today that scott podsednik stopped chewing tobacco and started chewing gum. I hope he stops dating his wife and starts dating me.

"Stop documenting me."

Peanut, you said you were going to comment on my blog and you never have. What the f